Welcome to Mormonkoolaid, where I will make an attempt to make sense of what I know of Mormonism. I'm not anti or pro Mormon, as I am pretty ambivalent towards the church at the present time. I just want the truth. Maybe we can help each other find it.

Don't be afraid to leave comments, even on the older posts. I'd love to hear your opinions.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What is truth???

It's a seemingly simple question, or at least that's what I thought. Maybe it was just what I hoped for. It's probably part of what attracted me to Mormonism.

Here is my black and white, previously held definition: Truth is truth. It is the way things are. It is concrete and it doesn't change. It isn't relative to an individual. God tells truth to the prophets and they tell truth to us. We have agency to live by that truth or not, but the truth doesn't change based on who we are, when we lived, or what we want.

Like everything else in life what 'truth' is seems to be getting more complicated by the minute.

One of the difficulties I have with the church is the ever widening disparity between the church and it's teachings during the time of Joseph Smith, and the church and it's teachings today. Lots of things have changed, all the way down to pretty core doctrines such as the nature of god, eternal marriage, eternal progression, and prophetic infallibility. I thought that God was the same yesterday, today, and forever? What's up with all the changes? Shouldn't I be able to expect the truth to be consistent?

Recently I came across a very long, detailed essay by Curt Porritt, in which he discusses this very dilemma in detail. It's a great read and highly recommended. It can be found here.

Here is my very brief, one paragraph synopsis of the 117 pages. It won't do the essay justice in the slightest so please don't judge the essay by my pathetic reduction below. Read it in it's entirety for yourself before casting stones.

God's truth to us changes. It is fluid and dynamic. He gives us higher and lower truths and laws based on our ability to accept and live them. In general, we are given lesser truths now than in the early church due to a relative state of apostasy. For example, tithing is still true even though the ideal is the law of consecration. God gave the children of Israel the Law of Moses even though that law was later fulfilled in Christ. Monogomy is true for us now even though polygmay is the ideal. Adam and God really are the same person, but that idea is too far out there for us to accept right now so God gave us a different version of the story that is easier to swallow. Etc...

I don't necessarily buy all that, but it is food for thought.

This is complicated further by the fact that prophets can be and often times are wrong. So we are left up to our own personal revelation to tell us if the prophet is telling a higher truth or lesser truth that may or may not apply to us at the present time, or if he is just giving his own opinion and is wrong altogether. Furthermore, what is false or true today may change tomorrow. It gets even more complicated than that. You'll have to read the essay to see what I mean. Please take a couple hours to do so, and let me know what you think. I need somebody smarter than me to help me wrap my head around all this.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Lying for the Lord... what's up with that?

Lying for the Lord was a term coined by Brigham Young associated with polygamy. Early Mormons often lied about the practice to avoid negative reactions from the US government and the rest of society, most of which did not approve of their multiple wife business. Sure it was a lie, but the end justified the means - at least that's what they thought. Does this mean that sometimes lying is OK? God told Abraham to lie about his wife being his sister to save her life after all.

One of the problems that me and many other people have with the church is the continual whitewashing of church history done by the church itself. Church history is messy and often not very faith promoting. Many things were said and done that leave me feeling sick to my stomach. Yet, the church doesn't talk about these issues, and sometimes puts out information that just isn't true. That's right - they lie.

I often really struggle with this. I expect more from the Lord's church. We shouldn't be afraid of the truth. Know the truth, and the truth shall set you free, right? Right? Why don't the leaders of the church tell us the truth?

I was helping my wife with a young woman lesson this morning when I had a bit of a realization. Her lesson was about making wise choices and we got to talking about ethical dilemmas. I came up with one that I deal with almost on a daily basis:

I work as a physical therapist with patients who have recently acquired a spinal cord injury and are paralyzed. One of the first questions patients often as me is, “Will I walk again?” I have to balance two values which are both important to me – honesty vs. maximizing my patient's recovery and emotional adjustment to their disability. I have an obligation to honor both, but must sometimes choose one at the expense of the other. The whole truth would go something like this - “Based on the thousands of patients before you who have the same injury and presented with your level of recovery at this time, your odds of walking again are around 1/5000. Even if you are able to achieve that, it is highly likely that you will need braces and crutches, will only be able to walk short distances, and even those short distances will be extremely taxing on your body, so much so that you will probably just go back to using to your wheelchair anyway.” Honoring the truth would likely send my patients into an even deeper depression than they are already experiencing, could push them to become suicidal, and would likely decreased their motivation to work hard during the rehab process and maintain a positive attitude, which would further exacerbate their disability. Given the many negative consequences associated with that option my usual response goes more like this - “It's really too early to tell what is going to happen long term. Let's just take it a day at a time and not lose hope that you will have significant recovery. We need to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, working with what function you have now. We will work on your leg strength and walking as soon your strength starts to come back.” That's what I say even though I'm lying through my teeth. And I stand by that decision as I really do know from experience that it is usually best for everybody involved. I know that even without recovery, spinal cord injury patients can often do a lot for themselves and can certainly live full and enriching lives. The thing is, it takes a long time for patients to come to that realization on their own, even with me and others telling them that very thing on a daily basis. Until they do, I'm often better off sugarcoating the truth for their benefit.

I realize that my situation and the situation of the church leaders lying about church history are not the same and you can never really compare apples to apples. Despite the differences, maybe the GAs use a similar logic when choosing what version of history to tell. Maybe, at least for me, that makes it a little bit more OK. I still don't like it, but at least I can empathize with them on some level.

Is this how the Lord works? Does he tell little fibs here and there as necessary for our own benefit?

How does this change what you see as truth?

Are you OK with the Lord letting you believe non-truths for your own benefit?

At the end of the day, I just want the truth. I don't care if it's hard or a bitter pill to swallow. I'm a big boy and I can take it. Just give it to me straight.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Temple marriage is always best! Err... maybe not in this case.

When you're faithful Mormon, a temple marriage is the ultimate goal. For many it is the ultimate reason for their Earthly existence. It enables people to be sealed to their families by a bond that can not be broken by death and qualifies them for exaltation. So it should always be sought after at the expense of everything else, right?

One if my in-laws is in his mid 30s and has never been married, despite his best efforts. He is a stand up guy, but for whatever reason hasn't found somebody that he has connected with on that kind of level yet. I think that finding a spouse and having a family is one of his greatest desires. As things currently stand, he may have a legitimate shot in the near future as he is in a relationship with a woman he really seems to have a connection with. The thing is, the situation is a little messy.

The woman he is dating has been married before. She and her husband were sealed in the temple, had two beautiful children together, and were deeply in love. Then he was killed in a tragic accident.

I can't even begin to imagine what this must have been like for her. Being at a similar point in my own marriage, the thought of losing my spouse now truly makes me shudder. To her credit, she was able to carry on and for the past few years has been able to raise her two kids a single mom, and keep it together much better than I would in a similar circumstance.

Now that a few years have passed, she feels ready to pursue a relationship again. The problem lies in the fact that she is already sealed to her first husband and can not be sealed to another man. For my brother-in-law, this means that his goal and dream of a temple marriage can not happen if he marries her. He will raise kids who can not be his after death. Further, has no guarantee that he would be sealed to any of his future children.

Things aren't any better for the young woman as this scenario seriously decreases her odds of finding another husband or father for her kids, assuming that she wants to marry in the faith. They are both stuck in an impossible situation. The policy as it stands severely inhibits either of them from fulfilling a righteous desire.

Interestingly, in the early days of LDS polygamy there were several instances where polyandry was sanctioned and carried out by leaders of the church. So one can't really make the argument that it's prohibition is an eternal principle as it has been done before. It is also of interest that if gender roles were reversed, this situation wouldn't be an issue to the degree that it is now.

Eternal marriage seems like it's always a great thing as long as divorce and death never happen. Too bad that's not a reality in the real world.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

"Be true to yourself"

A few years ago my grandpa passed away. He gathered each of his grand kids around his hospital bed one at a time to give each of us some personal advice, as he knew that his remaining days on the Earth would be short. These were his words to me: "Be true. Be true to yourself and what you know is right."

As we lived in different states and only saw each other briefly once a year or so, I was never particularly close to my grandpa. He was an old-fashioned, Idaho farmer who seemed to be in a different world that I had difficulty relating to. I guess that's part of the reason why his advice didn't mean much to me at the time. After all, he didn't know me well enough to get very personal in a meaningful way.

At the time I figured that he meant to always be true to the Gospel, assuming that I would always believe it and could use the encouragement to remain faithful throughout my life. Ironically, now being true to myself requires leaving the church and explaining God in a different way. On my heart of hearts, there are many things that have been said and done by LDS prophets that do not sit well with me and make it very difficult for me to remain a faithful member and continue to support an organization that doesn't wholly represent my values.

Should I be true to myself and do what I personally believe is right even if it means saying adios to the church?

What am I ultimately accountable to - how well I follow the dictates of my own conscience, or how well I follow what a supposed prophet tells me to do, when I have serious doubts about his divine authority?