A few years ago my grandpa passed away. He gathered each of his grand kids around his hospital bed one at a time to give each of us some personal advice, as he knew that his remaining days on the Earth would be short. These were his words to me: "Be true. Be true to yourself and what you know is right."
As we lived in different states and only saw each other briefly once a year or so, I was never particularly close to my grandpa. He was an old-fashioned, Idaho farmer who seemed to be in a different world that I had difficulty relating to. I guess that's part of the reason why his advice didn't mean much to me at the time. After all, he didn't know me well enough to get very personal in a meaningful way.
At the time I figured that he meant to always be true to the Gospel, assuming that I would always believe it and could use the encouragement to remain faithful throughout my life. Ironically, now being true to myself requires leaving the church and explaining God in a different way. On my heart of hearts, there are many things that have been said and done by LDS prophets that do not sit well with me and make it very difficult for me to remain a faithful member and continue to support an organization that doesn't wholly represent my values.
Should I be true to myself and do what I personally believe is right even if it means saying adios to the church?
What am I ultimately accountable to - how well I follow the dictates of my own conscience, or how well I follow what a supposed prophet tells me to do, when I have serious doubts about his divine authority?
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